Aug. 5th, 2017 10:15 am
ellieet: (Fandom Canyon!)
 I really need to spend today sending off job applications, but GUESS WHAT?

A week or so ago I posted a new Doctor Who fic that I had spent weeks working on and was disappointed initially when hardly anyone seemed to read it; I had a handful of kudoses but wandered if perhaps there was something wrong with it. Then a couple of days later, I got a really nice review and bookmark for the story, which cheered me up no end. The Ao3 user also went on to comment on my other Doctor Who fic and it was all so positive it made my day, although much to my shame I need to sit down and actually respond to people's comments.

Fast-forward to yesterday and I was chatting to a colleague who recently joined our workplace and we got onto the topic of writing. She told me she wrote fanfiction, which I high-fived her for and we were talking about fandoms. I asked if she was on Ao3 and she told me she was, so I asked what her username was. She told me and my jaw hit the floor.



I immediately went into meltdown - well, we both did - high-fived each other, squealed and I thanked her from the bottom of my heart. She was utterly amused by the fact that I was brosle-cub12 and we just chatted happily. I found it really reassuring to have someone I could talk to about in depth, because I'd had a peek at her stories and they are truly fantastic! It's nice to have someone who gets it. We swapped notes on what we liked to write; I shared with her my love for genderswap and romance and platonic things and she praised me. She herself writes really excellent asexual/aromantic fics.

Aaaah... what a day. :D
ellieet: (Default)
So, I've just found out that due to a recent shift swap that I thought was for August: I HAVE TOMORROW OFF! My TL texted me earlier this evening but I was writing for a while before Poldark came on. I'd made my lunch and had put myself to bed by the time I actually noticed the text, so I'm kind of mentally prepped. I might just treat myself to an episode of Series 10 Doctor Who - The Eaters of Light - to celebrate.

Mustn't slack, though. Tomorrow, I need to apply for a job, go to the gym, etc. I might treat myself and go into town - haven't been into the city centre since I returned - to spend my book token. I'm feeling productive and the need to learn; I'm actually wondering about maybe taking the step and going post-grad, as I only have my BA. In English maybe, or some form of writing as it may help me figure out what I want to do and how to do it.

Also: Poldark finale next week. OH THE HUMANITY.
ellieet: (Default)
 So there was a job I applied for a fortnight ago and I've heard nothing back. It was one that my current skillset could have covered nicely but I wonder if in hindsight I was too cocky with the application; I spent barely an hour on it - it was just a covering letter and CV but still - and then sent it off, as I wanted it to be gone as soon as possible.

I only have two more months employment - in fact, I'm nipping into work today for a meeting regarding this - and then I have no clue what I'm going to do. I really, really need to pull my socks up; I'm feeling the same kind of anxiety I felt three years ago when I didn't have a job and I feel I've been quite useless. In fact, looking at myself from the outside, I realise I'm rubbish at getting on with things. I've gained new experiences, though and I've learned a lot; this has been quite an adventurous and productive summer (my summer tune is the Criss brothers' 'We Like It.). That's something, I guess; but I'm wondering if I'm really working hard enough, or if I need to try a bit harder to get somewhere. I guess I can only do my best; but time to stop messing about and send out some more job applications. I've been feeling much happier and more confident since I got back from Italy; I'm more engaged with my life and less obsessive-compulsive.

I know it's only been three weeks since I got back but the life I led before I left was pretty miserable, dull and very unhappy. It was an incredibly depressing, watered-down existence; just living in the mess of my room, with a mess in my head and eating far too much. It's like I needed to go away to appreciate what I had. I'm still eating far too much (eek) but I'm eating now not to fill a gap, or in a vain attempt to help myself feel better, but because I want to indulge myself and eat things I enjoy eating. I need to work on it because I'm indulging myself waaaaaaaaaaaay too much in that sense; I had two chocolate muffins and a piece of chocolate cake yesterday!


I really want to get a Sherlock vinyl pop figure with the violin, just so I can have a boy-band on my desk with my Twelfth Doctor figure and his guitar, but I can't quite justify the expense. I've been in a really financially healthy place this month, probably for the first time ever, thanks to not using my card while I was in Italy (and food and accommodation being provided), the payment from the teaching, birthday gift vouchers etc. However, after spending a bit of time just buying stuff, I want to slow down a bit. I'm not quite sure what lies ahead and I think I'd like to know I have backups in place if I need them, especially given that my job's ending before Christmas. Still, it was nice to live like a Queen for a week or two and indulge a little. Most people, I think, would have spent their money on clothes; I spent mine on DVDs and takeaway breakfasts. Having said that, I'm feeling rather embarrassed now by the sheer volume of 'stuff' I own and I think it's time to have a clearout - both here and in my room at home - and whack some stuff in charity shops and on Ebay (although preferably Ebay, as at least then I know it's going to someone who wants it and I get money in return).


Over the weekend, I was pretty upset about some stuff and I 'shut down' a little at work; it sounds dramatic, but as we were extremely busy, I just went into work-mode. As a result, though, I was rather cold and ill-mannered. I shut down one person's offer to buy me a drink as a congratulations for all the hard work I was doing - which, yeah, I know, is pretty fucking rude of me. There was a lot going on in my head and a lot irritating me and I just wanted to get on with things, so I wasn't in a particularly friendly mood that day.


It's meant to be my day off today and I was looking forward to a lie-in; my treacherous body woke me up at 4.30. Now I have to stay awake so I can nip into work for this meeting, rather than do what I often do in these situations and fall asleep only to wake up at midday - which is precisely when the meeting is. Unhelpful, body. Unhelpful.
ellieet: (Default)
 *So, Jodie Whittaker's casting as the Doctor made a lot of people upset. One person did make a very rational argument about how they felt about it that wasn't offensive, just honest and someone else I promptly removed from my facebook feed after they literally posted 'Nah, good actress but ruined the show.' (Now I see why my co-workers didn't like them). I must admit, I was hoping for another guy personally and wasn't bothered about having a female Doctor, but hey, it's Jodie and if anyone can do it, she can. Anyway, I think this is a memo that we all need, as proven by some of the negative responses: it's not the gender, it's the capability. You can't accuse someone of ruining a show if they haven't even stepped into the fucking TARDIS yet,

*I actually wrote a Doctor Who fanfic today and two poems! Very pleased with myself. Ever since I came back from Italy, I'm feeling a lot better about my day-to-day existence; I'm not sleeping in until midday, I'm more engaged in what's in front of me, I'm making an effort to eat more fruit and veg and just feeling awesome. So yeah.
ellieet: (Default)
 Okay, so I was browsing around on iPlayer - I have tomorrow off, all being well, so I wrote six pages of fanfic (yay) - and thought about watching a little more Doctor Who before I went to bed, when I saw that the latest episode of the Graham Norton show had been released (it only aired about an hour or so ago). I hadn't realised, but Martin Freeman was one of those on the sofa and he has gone completely silver. Utterly silver. Not a hint of blonde remains.

I'm sorry, I don't usually do this and it's stating the obvious here, but I'm so used to seeing him with a mixture of blonde/grey, particularly in his role of John Watson. He remains as sassy as ever, though and did some really impressive punching in the guest exercise - although his interview wasn't as long as the others' this time, as he was the last one onto the sofa and didn't come on until about halfway through. He's got a new play coming out with Sarah Lancashire, so he's keeping busy. <3
ellieet: (Default)
 My heart is breaking for the city and all the people, including young children and teenagers who went out and never came home. :(

ellieet: (Benedict <3)

Cue happy bunny Ellie. I've been needing one since I arrived in Wales but now preparations for Italy had me throwing up my hands and basically thinking, 'For fuck's sake, I need to stop using other people's printers and scanners.' So I ordered it last night and it arrived today. 12 points to Ravenclaw.
ellieet: (Being Human: What is this??)
Just: this has been one of the worst days ever and I don't even want to talk about it. I don't even understand what the hell is going on. I just want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. In fact, I might.

And after such a lovely, relaxing weekend celebrating my best friend's Easter wedding, too.
ellieet: (Sherlock's book)
(First attempt at cross-posting, here we go).

The last two days I have been really anxious and on edge, which is weird because it's been so beautiful and sunny. Today, I got to work and got into a silent state of anxiety very quickly and by the end of the day, my brain had fizzled out. I was able to distract myself and thought maybe I was making too much of a big deal of things but at one point my chest was very tight and uncomfortable. I was very warm by the day's end - my TL put a friendly hand on my arm just before my shift ended and exclaimed at how hot I felt. I think it was partly the heat, partly the anxiety rush. Yesterday, my manager was able to tell in passing that I was very flustered and took me aside later to check I was okay. I've just spent the last 48 hours feeling useless and like a spare part, but I was able to scale it back to a degree and thought happy, creative thoughts instead. I've actually written a fanfiction scene or two and I'm branching out in my poetry; I'm filling my latest notebook with valid contributions, rather than streams of forced rubbish and it feels good. I've been realising that what I've been craving is a sense of purpose and purpose is something I've been without for a long time; nothing to fire me up and get me going. I've been wondering exactly where I fit into the Universe, but - you know. I'm HERE. Isn't that enough? 

I'm not ready for the summer and need a new pair of sandals (of all things!). I went to the park around the corner from me the other day and ended up finishing the seventh Poldark novel, The Angry Tide, which was so gripping I actually found myself exclaiming aloud several times. It's been a while since a book had that kind of effect on me. I'm trying to get on with Emma Donoghue's Room now, but it's hard to go from one genre to the other overnight. Which sounds rather stupid, I know, but whenever I finish a Poldark novel, I want to read the next one immediately and right now, I have zero money to buy the eighth book.

I've also had the nostalgic romp of a lifetime with Red Dwarf, one of the fandoms of my childhood. We've gone from friendly coffee to why don't we have dinner to an impromptu weekend catch-up in one of the hotel rooms to I really miss you, actually, and I miss that cute little thing you do to why did we ever break up and are now at the negotiations stage. (I'm assuming that's how this all works, I've never been in a relationship so IDK). It's been fun and I'm actually kind of disappointed there aren't more episodes for me to watch because I am this close to bringing the entire DVD collection back with me after my next home-visit. I still can't really abide much of Series 7 and 8; the only strong points are the Lister and Rimmer scenes, but I admire the whole cast for, more or less, seeing it to the end of the original run. I've been watching a couple of the new episodes and found myself laughing out loud - the boys have still got it and while I love Chloe Annett, I'm really glad Kochanski is gone.

ellieet: (Doctor Naughty Thoughts)
So, I never thought I'd be into this but I'm kind of tempted to try out Molly/Mycroft.



Jan. 17th, 2017 06:11 pm
ellieet: (John smiling)
One of my Cabin Pressure fics, Something Different, has been nominated for an award! *happy dance* The award is The Best Thing Since Rainbows and it's the 2017 Headline Awards (it has a community both on Tumblr and here on LJ as the tonyhead_awards) celebrating Anthony Head and all his work. I'm really pleased; what a wonderful surprise to wake up to.

I've been hearing all about Hamilton from several different sources; it's coming to the UK and everyone who's got a ticket is really excited. The first I heard of it was when my facebook news feed was exploding with the happiness of friends who had brought a ticket. My TL is one of them and she told us all about it last night at a group gathering. I've been listening to the soundtrack; I'm not quite sure what to make of it, but it's definitely catchy.

There's currently a roast chicken in the oven and some potatoes boiling on the stove that will shortly be going in the oven, but first, a few more thoughts about Sherlock on Sunday. (Completely pointless FYI: By the time I finished and published this, I had already eaten some of it, having been cooking between writing and thinking and at this point in time, am about to go back for seconds!)

The Game is On, BUT...(SPOILERS and swearing; I apologise. Bad Ellie!) )
ellieet: (Sherlock and John: Christmas cancelle)
I know that it's going to be dramatic tonight, one way or another and in a moment I need to go and buy some milk before my friends arrive.

Things I don't want to happen tonight:

No spoilers, just speculation )
ellieet: (John smiling)
I'm going to keep this short:

Oh, thank God.
ellieet: (Sherlock and John: Christmas cancelle)
Spoilers 'n stuff.

Further thoughts on The Six Thatchers )


Jan. 1st, 2017 04:46 pm
ellieet: (John smiling)
Here we go again!

I'm currently waiting at work for a friend to finish up as he has offered me a lift home with him and his sister. Trains aren't running and buses are few so I thought I would wait for the certainty of a lift.

Then, after grabbing dinner, I'm going over to my friend Ria's to watch the episode with her! YIKES.
ellieet: (John smiling)
Oh my gosh.

Sherlock, guys.

Sherlock, guys.

Oh my gosh.
ellieet: (John smiling)
A friend of mine has invited me out with her and a friend tonight to go swing-dancing and I am nervous as hell. I'm worried in case there's the whole 'Now, everybody partner up!' thing that inevitably comes with this - I've done it before at Uni and it was just... blah, because I let my partner down every time and there's also the whole awkward shuffle of getting one. But I know I need to try these things out at least once and I need to socialise a bit more. I've become really reclusive.

Gah... *eeek*
ellieet: (Sherlock and John: Christmas cancelle)
My friends, can anyone recommend any good fics in any of our shared fandoms? Sherlock, Cabin Pressure, Thunderbirds, Zootropolis, Doctor Who etc? Can be shippy or gen - nothing hugely hardcore or explicit (I'm a sucker for T/gentle R) but I wouldn't mind some romance, hurt/comfort and general niceness. Sadfics make me sad and depressed all over again, so, yah. Give me some hope.

Thanks all, and thus ends this public service announcement. ^_^

Oh, 'eck.

Sep. 3rd, 2016 01:34 am
ellieet: (John smiling)
I came home from work after running some errands and curled up in bed for a lie-down. I slept until midnight. ^_^

Less good; I was clattering around and on returning to my room, my poor housemate had to come out and ask me to stop being so careless with the door. I feel awful - I had trouble sleeping last night, and had to nip to the bathroom several times and I wonder if I woke him up then as well. Got to be careful and considerate.

Anyway, night all.


ellieet: (Default)

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